A spokesperson for a pro-choice group in Colorado, Crystal Clinkenbeard.
Speaking of choice, as in spoiled for choice, here are some more London Review of Books personal ads. As ever, more can be found here.
Let this advert serve you as the Rosetta Stone of personal ads. Man, 38. Box no. 14/07
World’s worst univocalic personal ad writer. Male. 43. Box no. 12/03
I am more like Grand Duke Nicholas Mikhailovich of Russia than anyone else who has ever advertised here. Man, 54. Box no. 12/06
You can have the key to my heart! I’ll swap it for the combination to your gym locker. Yoga nazi (F, 43) plans on whipping you (dumpy, bland, moccasin-wearing M to 50) into shape with 18-week programme of sit-ups, circuits and emotionally-draining discussions about how pretty you really think I am. Box no. 13/06
An ancient Czech legend says that any usurper who places the Crown of Saint Wenceslas on his head is doomed to die within a year. During World War II, Reinhard Heydrich, the Nazi governor of the puppet Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia secretly wore the crown believing himself to be a great king. He was assassinated less than a year later by the Czech resistance. I have many more stories like this one. I will tell you them all and we will make love. Man, 47. Box no. 14/04
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