Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The State of the Union is private, I mean personal, I mean strong, I don’t know what I mean


6:06 Bush enters, shakes a lot of hands. I’m hoping some of that purple ink rubs off on his hand.

Oo, the state of the union is both confident AND strong. A twofer.

6:11 CNN camera finds John McCain, who is managing to both glower and look bored at the same time. He sees the camera and immediately pretends to be asleep.

Taxpayer funds must be spent wisely or not all. Guess which one he prefers.

We must raise children to meet the demands of the 21st century. Translation: troops to occupy Iran, Syria and, just for the hell of it, Togo.

6:15 Joe Lieberman doing one of those things where you look like you’re applauding but make no sound. They learn that in Senate school.

6:18 As much as his mispronunciation of nuclear annoys me, following it up with “Clean Skies policy” is even more obnoxious. And he calls for ethanol, even though last week’s West Wing was specifically designed to scuttle that.

6:20 There’s Hillary, giving the most grudging applause on record.

6:22 He has a message for everyone 55 or older: don’t let anyone mislead you. And a message to everyone younger: let me mislead you.

6:24 I don’t think I’ve heard so many voices raised in opposition (to Bush’s lies about Social Security) in one of these things before.

6:27 The Boy in the Bubble says he’ll listen to anybody with good ideas. Except increasing payroll taxes.

6:30 We have to pass on values to the next generation. Like homophobia. As he talks about a “culture of life,” CNN turns its cameras to Christopher Reeve’s widow. Awkward... . Says values don’t come from the government. Except abstinence. And faith-based programs. And...

6:35 He proposes a program to keep young men out of gangs (he’s never heard of girl gangs?). You will never hear another word about this.

Wants to focus AIDS spending on African-Americans. Not butt-fuckers. Managed to talk about AIDS without mentioning gays, just like he called for banning gay marriage without mentioning gays.

6:38 Wants competent defense lawyers in capital cases. Of course in Texas that’s defined as “awake more than 50% of the time.”

6:40 Our military operations are determined, successful and continuing. If they’ve succeeded, why do they need to continue?

Will continue to build the coalitions that will defeat the dangers of our time.

The only thing that will defeat tyranny and whatnot is “the force of human freedom.” He makes it sound like a weapon; the words “force” and “freedom” don’t belong together. I’ve said it before: only Bush can make freedom and liberty sound like a threat.

Will support democratic movements in the Middle East and beyond, with ultimate goal of defeating tyranny in the world. Is there any example of Bush now supporting the democratic opposition to an established government in the Middle East?

Evidently there’s an arc of freedom or something from Morocco to Jordan to Bahrain. Please consult your globes. It’s an arc, really it is. They’re really reaching for geometrical expressions.

6:51 Several people aren’t standing to applaud the brave Iraqi people. I’m sure Fox is taking down their names.

They’ve even got one of those voters, sitting next to Laura. She can’t decide how many fingers she’s supposed to hold up.

6:59 If he had to pick just one soldier killed in Iraq to mention by name, wasn’t it a bit tacky to pick one from Texas?

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