Going to the lavatory at speeds up to 75 mph

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html Like the URL says, a creationist science fair. First prize: a 5th grader proves that her uncle is a human and not a monkey. Hon. menshes include a 3rd grader’s project, “God made kitty” and a 4th grader’s, “"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False” (sic). An 8th grader conclusively proved that life does not come from non-life, by putting water, a lump of charcoal, and a vitamin in a sealed glass jar and leaving it for three weeks (praying to God not to fuck up her project by performing a miracle, of course). A 7th grade boy won 2nd place for proving that "Women Were Designed For Homemaking". The high school projects are a bit more advanced, and much weirder.

For only $3,500 you too can run for governor of California. No, I’m not. How could I win against the likes of Angelyne (from the Hollywood billboards), who has just entered.

Not only are environmental reports that disagree with Bush ideology being suppressed, now the EPA is refusing to analyze air pollution proposals produced by Democrats.

Lecturer in what? “An American lecturer, Richard Rodriguez, 42, has set a record with four days on a rollercoaster in Germany, sleeping, eating and going to the lavatory at speeds up to 75 mph.”

Bush now says the war with Iraq resulted from Saddam’s refusal to let inspectors in, which will be news to Hans Blix. He also says that the doubts about the Nigerien intelligence only arose after the State of the Union speech. In fact, it was disproved a year before. The statements from the administration are getting wilder and wilder. See, for example, the transcript of Rumsfeld on This Week, and Ari Fleischer’s last news conference. Fleischer said "The president, of course, would not be pleased if he said something in the State of the Union that may or may not have been true and should not have risen to his level." Well, who would be? And, asked for evidence that Iraq was reconstituting its nuclear program, Fleischer said: "I turn it around. Why would anybody think that a leader as brutal as Saddam Hussein would not pursue weapons of mass destruction of biological and chemical and then say, 'But I'm not interested in nuclear?'” Gosh, I’m convinced. The WashPost has a nice snarky piece analyzing the many types of evasion Fleischer deployed. at the end, Bob Deans of Cox News Service rose to say that he had brought Fleischer a cake. "We've received assurances that it's not yellow cake," Deans said. "But that doesn't prove that it's not yellow cake."

Howard Dean ran his first ad, ending, “That's why I'm running for President. And that's why I approved this message.” Jon Stewart made fun of him as “a can-do guy who’s in charge of the things that come out of his own mouth”, but that was before Bush started blaming everybody else for the word-things that came out of his own mouth. This is why political satire is so difficult.